Just popping by…

Claire September 25th, 2007

Feels like ages since I have posted anything, and feels like I have been doing nothing but work recently, but I didn’t come here to moan too much. Just get my thoughts down a little.
It’s been a rough day at work – I run a small project that supports parents and carers of disabled children, and as I expected at some point to happen, one of the children we have been helping has died. Sounds cynical to say I expected it, I mean that when you are working with disabled children and children with special needs, you know their life expectancy isn’t the same as everyone else’s, but it still came as a shock. The family have had it so hard, and all she could say at this time when she must be in such pain was thanks for the volunteer she had and the support they gave her – bless her. Then the other families we are working with are all being failed in one way or another by the system (which is what our project supports them to get through) and it’s so frustrating when you visit families that yes, may not be the most conventional family around, but works as a unit and the kids are loved and looked after. Made me really question my own values and why I am passionate about doing what I do. Also made me question my own “problems” and put them into perspective.

Trying to find somewhere to live at the minute and it’s proving a more difficult task than I thought originally. I have been sharing a house with Rachel since we both graduated from uni in 1997, and there have been realy good times, and we have supported each other through the really, really bad times, so it will be very strange, to say the very least, to live with someone else. Even if that someone else is the guy I have been prattling on about getting married to next year.
My work history is one of working with vulnerable people in way, shape or form, and without wanting to sound rude, I don’t want to live in some of the areas I have worked in in the past – high crmie areas and lots of anti social behaviour. Estate agents must hate me as I phone up about a property that has inevitably been advertised after it has been let, and the alternatives are not going down too well – “No, I know that there are 2 dealers living down that street” or “no thanks – that area isn’t safe for me to walk back from work at night on my own …” kind of things. 10 years ago when Rach and I moved to Nottingham we had no idea where we were and we could have got stuck with anything. I have worked across Nottingham now for those 10 years, and I know where is nice and where isn’t. No wonder they think I am awkward.

Plus that, maybe I’m being picky but I have an idea of what we need in what will be our first home together – I need somewhere with a garden (I am using the cats as an excuse for that, but have made no secret about wanting to have a vegetable patch…), and I need somewhere to store all my stuff. David’s all consuming hobby (as mine is various crafts) is Warhammer – tiny fighting men basically. Not my bag, but I hardly have room to criticize when I could out granny most grandmothers! So we are ideally looking for somewhere we can have a room each, a guest room (in case anyone wants to stop over) and a bedroom/living room for us. We are viewing one tomorrow and I almost don’t want to hope for it to be nice, cos I don’t want it to fall through if it is. We really liked one a couple of weeks ago – was bigger and more expensive than we wanted but literally ticked all the boxes and felt right, and I really wanted it. Deep down I knew it wouldn’t work out though and she used the excuse of the cats and a 12 month tenancy being too long for her (!) but it took almost a week for her to let us know, in which time we missed out on looking at other properties. If this is what it is like renting I now see why it’s difficult to buy. Aargh!
Anyway, I am hoping that things will settle down for a change – I have a busy day tomorrow, but we have the viewing in the afternoon then it’s the craft group, which will feel like a real rest.

Sorry to moan so much – I really do have a lot that I am grateful for and getting it down (on virtual paper) has helped me see that. Hopefully next time I have the chance to post I will know where I will be living! xx

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